The foster care system is a bit of a hodge podge across the USA.  It has been designed to protect children and remove them from harm's way.  There is definitely a challenge surrounding how to identify which children really need that protection.  As a society, we don't want to be in the habit of removing kids from their mom's and dad's for no reason--having this happen is a traumatic experience on so many levels.  Children often blame themselves for the bio-parent's inadequacies. 

They don't understand "normal" thinking that:

• Drug or Alcohol abuse is the norm
• Inappropriate touching is appropriate expressions of affection
• Neglect is to be expected

They end up blaming themselves wondering if:

• I hadn't been "bad" I'd still be at home
• I hadn't told about drugs, touching things would be different
• I had taken care of making sure my little brother/sister was fed we wouldn't have been taken away

Despite the best efforts of law enforcement, the act of being removed from home is never pleasant particularly when parents are resistant.  Being resistant is normal. Even poor parents don't want to lose their children.  Circumstances have made it necessary for the kids to be protected.  It is sad and tragic.

The "System" is overburdened.  There aren't enough case workers, foster parents, dollars, adoptive parents, therapists, resources in general to bring things into balance.

The "System", right in its intent, tries to keep kids with family and/or tries to replace children in the parent home.  This is laudable if the parents can pull themselves together.  Sometimes, the parent is able to do this--most times not.  Often the parent is able to rehabilitate long enough to get the kids back, but then the cycle begins again.  Occasionally a family member applies to be a foster parent simply to "give" the child back to the parents.  I think that trying to keep kids with family is the right thing to do except when it is demonstrated that the family is not a safe place for the child to be.  In these cases, re-placing the child simply ends up with them ending up in foster care again and again.  This simply hurts the child's chance for a normal life.  The larger the number of caregivers early in a child's life represents a greater chance that the kid will exhibit problems like RAD, PTSD, ADHD, FAS, and other negative psychological manifestations.

Under the best circumstances, a child removed from the home will experience:

1. Placement in a receiving home
2. Placement in a more permanent foster home
3. Placement in an adoptive home

This brings the number of care-givers up to three (if the foster family adopts) or four (if the foster family doesn't adopt).  In some instances there are many additional sets of care-givers between the receiving home and the final adoptive family, IF the child is adopted. 

Older children often are never adopted.  These kids end up being bounced from foster family to foster family until the child reaches 18 when they find themselves on their own.

As a society, why do we place such a low value on our kids?  We need to at least double the resources in place to help:

• Kids at risk
• Parents who place these kids at risk-is there a way to intervene earlier?
• Foster and Adoptive parents
• Case workers
• Public mental health support

I imagine multiple levels of victimized individuals.  The child, the foster and/or adoptive parent (who end up bearing the brunt of emotional/psychological fallout), the tax payer whose money is needed, and society as a whole which must support the children who turn into dysfunctional adults.

So, what do we do?  We need to fight for our children.  All of our children.  What can you do?

1. Donate money to a foster agency - there aren't enough tax dollars to do the job adequately.
2. Think about being a foster parent.  Most public agencies will give introductory seminars for free and then pay for your training if you choose to continue.
3. Think about adopting.  If you are already considering becoming an adoptive parent, why not look in your own community?
4. Donate some time to a public or nonprofit foster agency.
5. If you have a friend or family member who is adopting a child of trauma, don't second guess them.  Support them.  They are embarking on a path that can prove extraordinarily difficult.  They need your love and help.
6. If you have a friend of family member who is adopting a child of trauma, think about taking the classes to become registered and licensed yourself--not to become a foster parent or an adoptive parent but to provide respite support to your loved ones.
7. Help by providing support on this site.  Answer questions in the forums if you can.  Blog about your experiences--I'd be happy to set an account up for you if you ask.  Add resources in the offsite and book reviews sections.  Sponsorships would be gratefully accepted.
8. Provide support on other sites!