When children, such as those in Foster care, are not given the chance to have a stable home life and find themselves traumatized physically, sexually, or emotionally they can learn that there is no-one they are able to count on. The world is a place full of threats and adults can't be trusted. A Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) kid puts on emotional armour to ensure that he/she is safe from harm. These children learn to rely on themselves and themselves alone. No one is to be let in and no one is to be trusted. People who try and pry away the armour to peek in and help them are a threat. This perceived threat is so deeply ingrained that it can manifest itself in the classic "flight or fight" reaction in the wild. These kids can show enormous rage towards care givers at a moment's notice and they don't even know why.

Attachment is key to normal development. Normally a child bonds and attaches with his or her parents in the first few days of life and those bonds become deeper and stronger over the years. When a baby's needs are met (being fed, changed, and comforted) the child develops a deep understanding that the parents' job is to keep him or her safe. RAD children simply don't have this trust. Trust is key to creating loving relationships. Without loving relationships a child can't develop emotionally. Anger and rage become the central emotion in these kids.

You can't be a normal parent to a RAD kid because of the deep mistrust that exists. A RAD kid doesn't care what you think about his or her behaviour--so most behavioural programs simply don't work. These kids tend to need tremendous amounts of structure and nurturing. Often, parents find that they need to treat these kids as if they are the age at which the child emotioinally "froze". RAD children often appear to have no conscience. They seem to care about only themselves.