It is so easy to forget that kids with RAD are injured. On the outside they seem fine-my kid rides a bike and plays nintendo. She gets pretty good marks in school and swims at the local pool. She enjoys reading and plays with her puppy.

But then there are times when her behaviors are so frustrating I'm not sure what to do. I have to take a deep breath and remind myself to not take things personally even though, darnit, it can be so difficult.

Some things that I note in my child include:

She doesn't seem to feel a whole lot of guilt or remorse when she is caught doing something wrong. Somtimes getting any answer to even simple questions is impossible. She never ever takes responsibility for her actions and will try to blame others. She can be extraordinarily defiant and wants to have control over every last thing which means she doesn't really have a lot of friends. She steals food on almost a daily basis - almost always late at night. She doesn't think about how her actions affect other people. Her moods can swing wildly back and forth. She can be extremely demanding. She doesn't appear to be able to control her impulses. She is extremely good at manipulating people.

Despite all this, she does seem to be doing better this year than she was last year. She has come to have great eye contact and I truly believe that she has become attached to my wife, the dogs, and me. She has become very close to a little girl and her family around the corner who have been very very supportive.

I have to remember that when I find ice cream half eaten in the freezer with a spoon still in it, or when all the cookies have gone missing, or when we find huge piles of wrappers behind her bed that this is the disorder talking. When she yells at us or trashes her room or is whiney or bossy - I need to take a deep breath and say to myself, "this is part of the healing".

But it is hard.